My dearest Gig,
I thought that I should write out your eulogy so that you would approve of its content and pass well into the afterlife-provided they have computers, internet and you somehow develop the ability to type and understand English.
that though, is not the point of my letter...
The day that I met you, I thought to myself "Oh, my God not another one." one of the many sentiments I awarded your brothers and their brothers before them- you do know I have no idea what gender you are nor what gender they were.
No matter, you buzzed into my life even though I did not want you there and made an impact - I seriously did not want you there at all. I glanced at you every time you saw the light and like many I shouted the cliché phrase, "Don't go into the light..." I felt I was only doing this for your own good as you kept proving your insanity by ramming your head into that light over and over again. The fear that you would keep going at it and distract me from my studies made me make an easy decision. I turned off the lights and left you alone in the dark... to die.
but you did not.
Your persistence was admirable. I walked back into my room to find you alive and flying and damn was I dissatisfied. there was no way to wipe your beautiful face no your beautiful back from this earth and so I let you be as you were as your brothers Mico and Stah were before you -let me be honest, I just named them now for your benefit in case you were wondering if you had any brothers. for your information, they are at the bottom of the bin. died of natural causes... cross my heart!
I let you meet people; my friends and let me just say, you charmed them and by charmed I mean scared. I let you interact with that light that attracts you so much, I even think you took it upon yourself to leave your bodily fluid on the wall- thanks very much for that by the way, my actual baby was really proud to be part of your ritualistic method of scaring away predators. she however is an inanimate object so maybe next time, in the afterlife, do your research. now i really hope you get a computer with internet. even a phone or a tablet...fingers crossed.
Oh, but waking up this morning, I was surprised by the sudden disappearance of your consistent buzz, your attempts at trying to get out through a window you could not possibly break and frankly the creepy way you appear out of nowhere and disappear to nowhere. And so, because I could not find your body and your ladybird spirit did not lead me to you, I leave you with this letter that I shall read at your funeral...
JUST KIDDING!!!
haha! i have no intention of giving you a funeral.
I do have one request though, could you please tell your family members to lay off my window. it's really annoying to be concentrating on my work and then suddenly....BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
I do not get ladybirds at all.
Sincerely yours,
Me.
