I think my ninja days are over...

I almost lost a toe today and not just any toe, my BIG toe.

Super painful, I wouldn’t recommend it climbing any chairs in front of around two hundred people. Especially those cinema-like push up chairs or whatever they are called

Yes, of course I was that mama climbing chairs in the school hall right before class started.

And clearly I didn’t think that plan through because those chairs really don’t hold people’s weight when people [admittedly I’m probably the only one who thought of this all day] are standing on them.

In hindsight, it wasn’t my entire fault. A certain mule [not an actual mule] had refused to let me through and so my ninja instincts kicked in [all of which involve no actual training]

I stepped on the back of said mule’s chair feeling on top of the world then on to the next chair.

This was bad idea #2 just this week.

You know that whole Physics lesson about load, fulcrum and effort. Well, that stuff is actually bloody true. Wairimu was the load, the fulcrum was too close to her and the second chair [and mule] was making no effort to give her a break.

Next thing I know [obviously in my mind blowing slow motion and Imax 3D clarity] I was soaring ironically to the ground. I’m not sure when Toe got caught up in all of this movie action but I do know that Right leg and Left leg were bending in directions only gymnasts dream about [that’s right people I’m just that flexible or more than I think in my body is actually broken].

Not to mention I don’t actually know if I was holding on to a person or a desk but I wasn’t falling any further.

I couldn’t do anything else but laugh. I focussed my concentration, pain and embarrassment and all my energy on my laughter. This for me at that moment was taking a lot of my strength due to the fact that all I wanted to do was cry!

What??

Toe injuries hurt.          

All in all, I came out with my whole body intact, toe still attached and head still screwed right on, as right on as it can be.

And I’m getting a veil to wear because there is no way I’m facing that class again.

That or I create a twin sister whose obsession involves mimicking my clothing and getting me into embarrassing situations.

That works.