The road to developing my hulk-like strength

Dear Air Conditioning system,

I don’t know what I did to deserve you because you cannot seem to leave me alone. I’ll admit this amount of affection does flatter a girl but sometimes I feel like you give a double standard version of love. Here’s what I mean. Whenever I want cold air, you blow out hot air. When I want hot air, you blow cold air. You can understand why I wanted to get this letter to you so urgently. I had to rewrite and rewrite it until it was perfect.

Another thing though. I promise I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. Sometimes, the truth just needs to be said. There’s this button on you that is a man in a hut or something. I’m supposed to press this button when I want to turn you off. However, more often than not, you develop a serious case of mood swing horror that makes you feel special, magnificent, delightful and whatever other drug induced hallucinations you are prone to experience and you ignore the completely logical request and continue to shower me with your ...um affection.

Just in case you didn’t get me... it’s unwanted affection... I do not WANT it... that is specifically why I pressed the button... specifically!

ONE MORE THING, OKAY? THIS IS ME NOT SHOUTING, THIS IS ME SPEAKING THROUGH GRITTED TEETH. I LIKE THAT YOUR GREATEST TRAIT IS ENDURANCE BUT THIS IS BEDTIME FOR ME AND CLEARLY OUR SCHEDULES HAVE CLASHED. IF YOU COULD WAIT UNTIL I AM DEAD ASLEEP TO START WITH THE BLOWING OF THE SHUTTERS AND THE WORKING OVER TIME TO MAKE SURE MY ROOM TEMPERATURE IS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I HAD PUT IN, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I MEAN, YOU GET REGULAR NAPS DURING THE DAY AND I JUST WOULD LIKE TO GET MY BEAUTY SLEEP...

IF YOU CAN’T FOLLOW THAT ONE SIMPLE REQUEST THEN.... now I’m shouting... I WILL TRY FIND A WAY TO TEAR YOU OUT OF THE.... no, no let me rephrase... I WILL MAKE SURE I FIND A BUNCH OF GAMMA RAYS, ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE EXPOSE MYSELF TO THEM THEN DEVELOP HULK-LIKE STRENGTH SO THAT I CAN RIP YOU OUT OF THE CEILING AND SMASH YOU TO A PULP AND THEN GO AFTER YOUR CHILDREN!

Whoo...what a rush!

All in good faith...

 

I'm serious though...

LOL

TTYL

Toodles!

Smiley face implied.

Wairimu

P.S. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.... angry face implied!